??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
