I feel like abortions should bother me more
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
