Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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