god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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