I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
