If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We got so high we made milksteak
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
