i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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