i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Holy shit dude........stairs
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
