Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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