Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
