I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
