we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
