I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
