i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
