There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
