I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
