Need sex. Gaining weight.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
