ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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