Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
