i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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