So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
