Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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