How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
