Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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