and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
