I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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