hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
