You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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