Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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