i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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