He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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