I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
