The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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