between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
