How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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