so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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