Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
