we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
