I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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