In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
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