is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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