Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
