He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
