my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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