Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
