Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
