Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
