Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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