All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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