why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Never underestimate the power of titties
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