If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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