Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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