ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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