what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
