the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
